The Way Way Back
I watched this movie cos Mark Kermode said I should, and he was right! Embracing the whole gambit of what does it really mean to be an adult? This coming-of-age story has some suggestions….
Realistically awkward, painfully shy Duncan is on family vacation with his new blended family — his mother Pam, who has been hurt before and is learning to trust again, her boyfriend Trent (who is perhaps trying too hard) and Trent’s daughter Steph who can’t wait to ditch her new ‘brother’. Not being present with their children or really being family together, Trent and Pam spend more time relaxing with Trent’s friends Kip and Joan and embarrassing neighbour Betty and her children, a daughter who stares a lot — Susanna and much younger child Peter — who’s very into his Star Wars phase. Trent meanly fathers Duncan by pushing him away — feeling isolated and in the way, Duncan finds a girl's bike which becomes a means to freedom and escape.
He cycles into town, finds a cafe, gets a soda and comes across a man playing old school arcade games — Pac Man! Full of lyrics, Owen encouraged him to have a go — Duncan fails, which feels like a metaphor for his life at that time. With nothing to do and feeling unwanted by his family, Duncan heads to the local water park, Water Wizz, to mope. Full of irony, Owen comes across Duncan, gives him a guided tour and takes him on as an apprentice for the summer, including intensive training in recognising jokes and learning to dance. Apart from the creepy letching at female users of the park, Owen is a role model in the making — he banters with Caitlin (which she blats right back at him); encounters Lewis (manning the least popular stall in the park) who dreams of leaving but never does, and Roddy. Local teens banter with Owen, rush the water slide and get stuck in it! Chucking a volunteer down the slide on a rubber ring to free them, Caitlin snaps and accuses Owen of irresponsibility.
Meanwhile, Duncan’s Mum and boyfriend really are behaving irresponsibly — in trying to please his Mum by having dinner with her, she goes off with Trent, leaving him behind. Duncan comes across Trent kissing Joan, and realises that Trent can’t be trusted. Inspite of the situation at home, Duncan has begun to subtly change (unseen by his family), growing in confidence and health, enjoying being part of the Water Wizz family.
Tension grows over a terrible family board game as Pam suspects Trent of betraying her. Trent has convinced her that nothing happened, it was an unfortunate mistake. Pam is terribly hurt and struggles to trust Trent. Watching his mother’s humiliation when Joan takes Trent off to dance and almost mimics Pam’s fashion style, Duncan snaps and publicly calls out Trent infront of his mother and neighbours. Trent almost ends up fighting Duncan — a man against a 14-year-old — until Kip intervenes. In another harsh moment, Trent tells Duncan that his dad (who left the family and is living with a younger woman in California) doesn’t want Duncan around, ever. Recognising another person who has a painful parent situation, Susanna takes Duncan to the beach, and they chat about their families.
Feeling the tension, Duncan and Peter gatecrash a leaving party for Lewis -and appreciate the atmosphere of love, forgiveness, owning mistakes and good communication skills as well as healthy emotional relationships. There is a dance off! Duncan sleeps over and finally tells Owen what home is really like and how Trent really is towards him. With appropriate tenderness and encouragement, Owen fathers Duncan, encouraging him to keep going and ignore Trent’s mean comments.
Back home, the family are packing up to go home. At a stop for petrol, Duncan escapes, performs the water slide pass to public acclaim and Pam sees her son again for who he is — she sees his courage, his good character — his employee of the month merit — and the protective love of his employee ‘family’. Noticeably Trent doesn’t see any of these good things, but impatiently wants to go. Owen protectively stands infront of Duncan, praises him and kindly lets him go with his family. Pam remembers who she is, who her son is and leaves Trent to join her son defiantly in the way, way back of the car — the boot (or trunk!)
There is a lot of charm here — in our super sexualised Western culture, an older guy befriending a younger one could have been done in a creepy or inappropriate way. Here friendship and fatherhood, even brotherhood, male friendship and guidance is celebrated and appreciated. Owen doesn’t seek to control or belittle Duncan but to empower, without trying to replace his family.
The Water Wizz employees, although they may appear to be of no importance, have much healthier emotions, relationships, communication skills and abilities to correct, challenge, apologize and forgive. They include, have a lot of fun and despite the hardness of their lives, know how to have good times! Owen and Caitlin have a much truer, deeper, loving relationship than Trent and Pam — there is no power play going on here, just people trying to do the right thing. Caitlin wants Owen to grow up and be safe, stop breaking rules and doing dangerous, spontaneous things — Owen is not only willing to listen to Caitlin and her boundary setting, but to reflect, apologise, seek forgiveness and to actively change. Behind the banter, Owen is deeply kind, seeking to show vulnerable and hurting young men what a good and safe man looks like.
Intriguing Steve Carell completely plays against type — no jokes, just apparent charm and yet bitter control, manipulation and polite harshness to his girlfriend’s son. He is all surface and with him, it is hard to know what is true because he appears so plausible — ofcourse his betrayal was a mistake in judgement, a nothing. Toni Collette’s Pam is a hurt and vulnerable woman who is manipulated in an apparently good and loving relationship into neglecting her son and herself, and in permitting her loving partner to verbally attack and put down her son. Until the very end of the film she battles to deny and not be honest with herself or others; she would rather protect herself, have Trent back than face the truth. Her move back to her son at the end of the film is a powerful choice for truth — she is choosing to face up to what really is and not what Trent tells her is true. A subtle portrayal of what the experience of mental, verbal and emotional control and abuse looks like. Even we the audience are manipulated by Trent’s personality — it’s Steve Carell — he’s charming and loving, ofcourse Duncan is a withdrawn and moody teen, he’s uncooperative.
Words really matter — contrasted with Owen’s irony, wildly funny stories and speeches of kindness and power — Trent looks small minded and mean. We see this in his determinedly focused driving at the end and outrage as Pam abandons him out front!
Catching us unawareness, no-one is what they seem — all the characters have nuance and multi-faceted-ness. Betty, the nightmare divorcee neighbour, is kind and positive to Pam. Susanna is intrigued by Duncan, following him and enjoying his poolside life. Steph stops being so monstrously selfish, picking up on Pam’s hurt and pain and does the washing up. Kip protects Duncan. Owen and Caitlin reconcile in honesty and willingness to grow together.
Best of all the teens are teenage-like here rather than adults pretending to be teens. The awkwardness of conversations and stilted abruptness is done really well; they don’t just jump into snogging straight away — Susanna reacts with shock when Duncan tries to kiss her and stops it. Later she’s more comfortable, but this was a real moment, she needed time and Duncan respected her ‘no’. Whilst he may be feeling like he’s made another mistake, Duncan is able to allow Susanna space. Even the teenage girls are allowed to talk and think, rather than just being sexy in bikinis or love interest waiting around.
Powerfully too is Owen providing a safe space for Duncan to share his hurt, tears and rejection without shaming him. With the rise in male suicide and in statistics highlighting men who lack a wider social network, what a celebration of healthy and loving male friendship! Lots to like — watch, cringe and enjoy! I don’t know why but for me it has something of the same vibe as Hunt for the Wilderpeople.
