You Had Me At ‘Tell Me Your Opinion Of The Corn Laws…’: Mr Malcolm’s List
Hats! Cravats! Waistcoats! Correct addresses. Introductions! I thought I’d be airing my brain out by watching Bridgerton meets sub-Jane Austen fluff and collecting it again at the end. But this is meatier stuff indeed!
It’s more like Georgette Heyer, with some Bridgerton anachronisms — bonnetless scenes for extra emotion; dodgy looking very modern ballroom dress (I’ll let them off because it is a masquerade); lots of skirt hitching and on occasion some of the female members of the cast seem to be in different centuries, and lacking hair pins. It’s a shame because if the past truly is a different country, these mean that we can’t fully go there. But fashion quibbles aside — there is much to enjoy — most of the time, everyone who needs them has bonnets; the men’s fashions are remarkable and the dialogue and drama zips along. The cast are entirely fabulous and there are some wonderful twists and turns along the way.
Mr Malcolm is a man of large fortune who must be in want of a wife. Only he has a Mr Darcy-like list of requirements. It is unfortunate that on the social circuit of early to mid 19th century society that he can only meet genteel ladies who have been miseducated to entertain or to spend his money! He wants to be seen, and known, for himself. He escorts Julia Thistlethwaite to the opera (where is the chaperone here?!!!!) and is unimpressed by her very small small talk; smoothly dull and somewhat unkind himself by not playing the game and trying to get the best out of Julia and the evening; beset by her bothersome towering head feathers, and then having presented them together so publicly in front of the ton, damages her reputation by turning them into caricature as speculation grows that she will become Mrs Malcolm; then never calls upon her again. Ouch!
Determined to get her revenge, Julia summons her long-time old school friend, Sophia Dalton; and as Higgins to her Eliza Doolittle, with her cousin charming loafer Lord Cassidy (Cass) in cahoots, schemes a plan with Sophia as Mr Malcolm’s social honey trap. Sophia will charm him, lure him and then play him at this own game — by producing a list of requirements which he cannot meet. Julia will be revenged of her social shame by equally shaming Mr Malcolm!
As a man of the cloth’s daughter, Sophia has a tender conscience, intelligence and wit, and is unsure that she really wants to be in on this plan. Plus she can’t meet some of the list targets, such as playing a musical instrument.
Abandoned in an orangery at a ball by Julia, Sophia stumbles across another hiding out from all the social hub-bub. They spar happily and it is then that a delighted Julia, Cass and Sophia realise that this stranger was Mr Malcolm! Fascinated by Sophia (and an official introduction made), Julia is determined to launch Sophia (her weaponised friend) upon him. However, Mr Malcolm has a rival in the form of Captain Henry Ossory — he has a beard, military panache, braid and frogging, and sideburns and charming swagger and genteel sociability in spades. He is also on a mission as Sophia was formerly a companion to his aged aunt in Bath, and she wished them to marry. Rather than women fighting over men, the film turns everything upside down — the men are now fighting for the charming ladies, and Sophia is becoming increasingly unwilling to play her part in the stratagem. Julia feels neglected and on the shelf, until she finds her superpower — shooting! (even though I’m sure this doesn’t become a thing for women until the late 19th-20th century. She would have been riding to hound in a hunt instead or handing round the stirrup cups of wine, surely?)
They Dulwich picture gallery, they promenade (with appropriate bonnets), they ride — the embarrassing relative of Julia’s mother is encountered; there is hot action croquet! Happily ticking off the detailed and specific items on his list, Mr Malcolm gets serious by inviting Julia, her family, even the embarrassing cousin to a masquerade ball! We get the intense emotional dance, we think we will get the proposal in the rain scene. Instead we get Julia (via her maid Molly) locking Sophia in a room; Julia impersonating Sophia, handing Mr Malcolm her own list as he proposes and apparently refusing his proposal of marriage, and Julia embarrassing herself in front of everyone by revealing her plan of revenge. A distraught Mr Malcolm cannot trust Sophia any more; Captain Ossory is appalled by Julia and even a scheming Mother plan to reunite the feuding lovers through a garden tour fails. This feels more like Persuasion than a frothy romance.
Julia starts to put things right — Captain Ossory proposes. Everything has flipped again — we started out thinking we were following Sophia’s progress to romance and not Julia’s; now Julia is engaged and Sophia returns home to her parents, having been rejected by Mr Malcolm and then counter-rejected his herself. I’m not sure why she is travelling separately from her parents — after all they were there for the masquerade ball. They seem to have vanished or beamed back to Sussex ahead of their daughter! Back to parish duties? Bonnetless, (but atleast with hair up, so not totally totes emotes), Sophia travels sadly home in Julia’s carriage. But, lo, Mr Malcolm gallops supremely across the countryside, nearly causes a carriage overturn and they quarrel and squabble about his reckless riding style, before talking things through. There is forgiveness, reconciliation, Austen-style sharing of hearts and minds, and most satisfyingly, a new list with only one easy requirement! For some reason, I’m in tears at this point because the romance is so satisfying — there are no gimmicks, no nosebleeds, no rain, no tears — just an honest, happy, joyous lovers kiss.
Sope Dirisu was fantastic as Mr Jeremiah, ‘call me Jeremy’, Malcolm. His real emotion when finding he was part of a revenge scheme was heart wrenching and he brought real dignity and charm to the part. Not to mention rocking a wonderful gold waistcoat. He also had a great relationship with his mother, Doña Croll (who was in full, Queenly Bridgerton mode). Sope Dirisu for Bond, such screen presence!!! Freida Pinto and Zawe Ashton were superb as the two female leads, although I wish more money had been in the budget for hair pins for Freida Pinto and travelling bonnets to allow her dignity as a woman ‘out’ in society. She often had her hair down or half up, like a young girl of the time. It was a strange inaccuracy, given all the other details. Oliver Jackson-Cohen as the socially adroit but rather lazy Cass was hilarious, especially in helping Sophia to fake playing the piano before Mr Malcolm and in donning a philosophical Roman style and most definitely not a dress! What a dandy! A nice touch was how he and Julia couldn’t stop eating! I should also mention Theo James as Captain Henry Ossory, rocking the military look and sideburns to perfection, while yet reminding Julia that there was more to life than thwarting Mr Malcolm, and also fond of art!
The servants too had a fun time for much of the film, and I think more historically accurate clothes, even caps and wigs, and this is what I love is that you get the full range of society life here. It is odd how the older women are often dressed in more outmoded fashion — unless economically straightened, I’m not sure that this would be the case in real history. There is Queen Caroline’s very a la mode Empire Line dress and not the massive court dresses that she is Bridgertoned in. I’m not sure that the embarrassing relie really was in genteel poverty — she seem to be in full Barbara Windsor sparkle mode!
The diversity of the casting was great. However, I do wonder if this Bridgertoning of the past is modern us wishing that life had been fairer than it was. Certainly, within the Empire and in the big port cities, life would have been much more diverse than an all white society, only really closing in in the late 19th century. However I’m not sure society was as it is shown in this film. Certainly as David Olusoga, Mary Beard and Black Tudors have demonstrated, society was and never has been not purely white, and due to the horrors of enslavement, the widening of Empire and development of industry and global shipping/trading, people were travelling (or being moved around), backwards and forwards, more than we think they were. But was it really Bridgerton? — sadly only for demoted royals, the occasional adoptee or ‘sugar’ heiress, and in the colonies I think. But I’m open to learn more, as in even thinking about this there were Anglo-Irish and colonial heiresses abroad, and truly I have no issue with the actors and actresses, because it was fabulous!
